Saturday, October 12, 2013

Well, I may have said something stupid to Jeff N. I told him that I liked him, really like him, and now he's been kind of avoiding me. It sucks. Why did I have to blurt it out like an idiot? Damn. I wonder what my parents would have thought of it. Too bad they're dead. Maybe they would have been accepting of it, maybe not and I would have been kicked out. Heh, I still miss them. It has been about two years and I still fucking miss them. I no longer cry about it, but there is a hole. I don't want to lose them (Jeff N. and Alexis) too. Alexis, she is getting better around me. I think she pities me more than she fears me. A thing that has been concerning me is that man. You know the one who told me of all the horible things I done? Yep. I saw him just a few days ago, and now I am wary of leaving my friends. What if he hurts them while I am not there? Or worse? He knows I saw him. He was grinning at me and he raised a finger to his throat and made it seem like he was slicing himself. He's enjoying every minute of this mental anguish he is causing me. Is he following me? For how long? Or maybe he is on some twisted mission from his master. Oh god, what if he brutally murders a poor family? I mean, I know I've brutally murdered others, a child even (something I will forever regret), but I was unaware of it. I took no pleasure in it when I found out. All I got was nightmares, and trying to be extra careful in hopes that others won't die by my hands. He seems to enjoy it. A horrifying thought just came into my mind. If I had hurt people without knowing it, what is to say that I won't do the same to Alexis or Jeff N.? I can't just leave them but I don't want to kill them. this all to complicated.