she doesn't remember me. alexis doesn't remember me.

it feels like everything is so unreal and i'm dreaming. i don't feel real.

i'm in the hotel room, typing this up.

he's gone. someone killed him, and i made that someone disappear as well. there's so much blood on my hands, but i washed them already.

no matter how much i wash them, the blood is still there. my hands sort of hurt. i want to wash them again, i need to cleanse my self, but no matter how many times i wash, there will always be blood on my hands.

it's all futile.